28 Feb 2008

Playing the Youth Card

What is it with cola giants and the youth??? Every brand strategy begins and ends with us mindless overgrown children. If you did your research right you would know that we're not as intellectually deficient as you make us out to be(ok may be some of us are dumb...but stop generalizing!!!) This is the usual scenario at a cola company's brand placement meeting:

Exec 1: "The damn dentists are telling all the lil kids no more cola or your teeth will rot and that means injections. The tiny morons are now averse to our product. We've lost out to cavities."

Exec 2: "What about grown ups? People who either brush before sleeping or don't really care what happens to their teeth."

Exec 1: "Well...they used to think it was cool to always have a bottle of cola in the refrigerator. That is, until all the aunties started following stupid diets. And now the whole pesticide issue, so even the uncles have switched from rum n coke to gin n tonic."

Exec 2: "Damn farmers with degrees in chemistry! So what now?"

Exec 3: "umm...I have an idea. What about the youth? They don't give tuppence bout what anyone says anyway...and they sure don't seem to care about what goes in..."

Exec 1&2: "aaaah"

With this started the whole youth campaign. GenX= Generation Next, followed by GenY= Generation Youth(I'm guessing). I would forgive someone for thinking these were gene-altering beverages.
This brings us to Youngistaan, or rather, Dumbistaan(courtesy, M from M&M). Acknowledging our "cool" quotient isn't going to get you any consumers.

Colas are BEVERAGES!!!!! They DO NOT determine whether I'm cool or not. These ads are trying to take peer pressure to another level altogether. I like colas. I like colas because:
1. They are cold(sometimes)
2. They are sweet.
3. They are fizzy(although i know a lot of people who wait for their cola to go flat before drinking it)
and most importantly....
4. these things are LOADED with caffeine!!!!! and everyone knows Caffeine+Sucrose= major adrenaline rush
*author's note- you're just dumb if you didn't know why you're insomniac after a bottle of pepsi...they say refreshing...i say Caffeine Addiction.

I am under no illusion whatsoever that colas:
1. make me "Cooler" than Bollywood stars(ref: Uncle)
2. are more desirable than my significant other(ref: Thumbs Up TVCs)
3. make me so convincing as an extra-terrestrial that parents are no more an obstacle in my love/sex life

so seriously, the day any of my "peers" starts giving a damn about whether I drink a cola or not, I'll eat "my can", I promise!


meraj said...

love that M from M&M.

good stuff there...tahts why sprite tried the 'pyaas bujhaaye' route.

why do you write so frequently...10 posts a day? how do you manage?

m from M&M

WhiteMoonWatching said...

thanx meraj...
*ignores sarcasm*
well it may seem a lot to u coz maybe u read slow ;))
hehehe...neway thanx again...i try to keep up with ur blog but dont usually get the time...will get down to reading ur newest posts though...happy blogging:))

Manish said...

i wish more marketers read your blog:-)
and some cola guys too.
write more often...